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the legs

June 2008

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Jun. 10th, 2008

the legs

failure is my eternal fate.

 i've been doing well...
but i still feel so so so horrible.
i'm completely ashamed of any calorie (liquid and solid) consumed.
i hate my thighs, my hips, my stomach, my fat arms, my knees, my huge tits, EVERYTHING about this body just absolutely disgusts me.
my one true love=BONES.

Jun. 7th, 2008

the legs

tomorrow...

i'm going to a damn cookout which can only mean food which can only mean complete disaster.
shit.
i'm so scared.
why do people find it so important to congregate over food, and too much of it. seriously man. it fucking disgusts me.
yuck.
i hate this world and all its food. 

Jun. 6th, 2008

the legs

i am

FAT.





fatty fatty fat fat.


and the one thing that i want most, more than any-fucking-thing is to be tiny, skinny, itty-bitty. 

Jun. 5th, 2008

the legs

been a while...

since i've been on.
let me start by saying that home(San Diego) was TOO amazing. and yes, this is possible.
it felt so right being back. and i'm so depressed to be back in...grrr...hell(Chicago...bleh)
on another note....
seeing all the cali skinnies in their bikinis completely gave me tangible thinspo and i've been on this insanely motivated kick since sunday and i'm happy to report that when i weighed myself this morning i hac already lost...drumroll...5 FUCKING POUNDS. i was shocked.
oh yea...go liquid fasting...truly my new found soulmate.
god i can't wait to be at my teeny tiny GW.
i'm super motivated and i'm doing so well and i love all my friends on here and i know this high won't last long because they never do with ana...so i've got to live it up while it lasts.




p.s. there's the most amazing thunderstorm outside right now...i love it.

May. 19th, 2008

the legs

1 week...

til i'm home.
san diego.
miss it with all my heart.
i won't be able to leave.
and so many skinnies! everywhere. all the time.
best place ever.
god i love it.
i can't wait. 

May. 18th, 2008

the legs

(no subject)

ugh so im  annoyed..
someone got the same user pic as me so now i must change it.
i hate the complete lack of any originality in the world at times.
the legs

(no subject)

so i  just looked up massive amounts of 


THINSPO...


and i feel superb.
today is going to be a good day.
1200 cals at the gym.
100 at the most eaten.
ah, im ready.

May. 15th, 2008

the legs

fatty MCfatfat.

i am oficially disgusting. 



way more so beyond what i've ever thought and known.

i can't control my bilogical need for food and it scares me to know that i could be bigger each day.
i just want to scream



                                    STOP!

 

and that would be it.

no more need, want, search for the binge.

just beautiful, silent, empty, hunger.

i love it.

 more than anything, and i need it now more than ever,

i cannot and will not go home fat.

FAST.

                              beginning tomorrow.

no matter what,

so there asshole binger,

good riddance.

nothing tastes as good as hunger feels. and that's always been the case. i just got brainwashed.
  so goodbye.

May. 11th, 2008

the legs

xbox 360

my boyfriend's latest addiction.
so now im here...pouring out my heart online.
lame.
and FAT.

May. 10th, 2008

the legs

disgusting...

 binging.
is the most horrific thing i can ever go through.
i was doing soooooo well too.
then i
BLEW it.
kill me now.
                                                

                                   please.
the worst part is that i cant even get drunk because my tummy, my fat fat fat tummy, is too full and fat and bloated and writhing and sloshing and growing by the second with this disgusting food i stuffed down my throat.
guess its laxatives and diet pills for the rest of the night for me.
wooo...what a saturday night.
                                                              at least tomorrow is mother's day and i'll be too depressed to eat or even think about consuming cals. thank god for severe depression-it saves me from fatty fatty fatness.

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